Interesting Photo, Sango
by Sango5
Summary: [Rated for some adult content and humor] Sango's first date goes from bad to worse...


Interesting Photo, Sango  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any other character. Summary: Miroku and Sango's first date goes from bad to worse!  
  
Miroku had, after years of attempts, succeeded in getting Sango on a first date. It was going well so far, it was Easter Sunday and since neither of the lovers had family and InuYasha and Kagome were already busy they decided to try dating for once. Miroku was overly excited, Sango was, well to be blunt, bleh. She wasn't sure how this would turn out.  
  
The two are strolling along, hand-in-hand, to the park. Miroku has been wearing a camera, hoping to talk Sango into having a stranger take their first kiss picture--Sango doesn't plan on kissing anyone, much less him.  
  
Miroku flashes a flirty smile at Sango and she takes a cautious step backward. She nearly walked into a family having a lovely picnic. "I'm so sorry!" Sango apologizes and giggles as she hurries away.  
  
"It's nice out today..." Miroku thought out loud as his hand slipped casually to Sango's rear.  
  
"Yeah. AW!" Sango nearly jumped out of her skin with joy as she saw a fuzzy brown squirrel and pointed enthusiastically toward it.  
  
"Heh, how cute. You think it's a girl? Think she likes nuts?" Miroku received a heart-stopping glare and chuckled nervously.  
  
"I wanna catch it!" Sango said excitedly, surprising Miroku that she, of all people, could be so ... so ... spontaneous?  
  
"They have rabies, Sango. Don't chase it." Miroku said, holding her wrist to stop her.  
  
"Let me go, I'm going to catch it!" She pulled her wrist away and proceeded in walking toward the squirrel. "Here squirrelly, squirrelly, squirrelly." She beckoned the squirrel with the hand she didn't have her purse in.  
  
The squirrel saw Sango and, frightened, ran up a tree.  
  
"Noooo! She handed Miroku her purse. "Hold this." She walked to the tree where the squirrel disappeared and began to search for a branch to climb. She hopped up and took hold of a thick, sturdy branch and hoisted her self up. She watched as the squirrel darted further away, "You little beast, you're mine!" She reached for it, almost fell, and took more caution further on her hunt.  
  
"Sango ... be careful!" He watched her climb, he couldn't complain though--he liked the view.  
  
Sango climbed higher, higher, and higher. The branches started to dwindle in thickness as she raised elevation, the squirrel took a crouched position on the branch and launched his way to another tree. "Dammit!" Sango cried in dismay. She turned and started her way back down. She got near the bottom branches and realized it was a lot further DOWN than it was UP. "Miroku..." She whined.  
  
"Huh?" Miroku had been preoccupied in making sure no one saw him holding a purse, he was hiding it behind his back.  
  
"Help!" She screamed, to get his attention.  
  
"Wha? What's the matter?" He wasn't facing the tree, and he was only paying half attention to her.  
  
"Turn around!" She growled. He whirled around and blinked in shock. "Well, well, well, what an interesting situation you've found yourself in." He smirked, knowing he could use this to his advantage.  
  
He walked closer to the tree, the purse still behind his back. "You're going to have to jump."  
  
"WHAT?!" She thought the sound of living in a tree sounded better then jumping willingly into the arms of a lecher so he could feel her up.  
  
He was so overexcited with catching her that he forgot to hold his hand out on front of him. "Jump! I'll catch you, I swear!"  
  
"How do I know you're fingers aren't crossed behind your back?!"  
  
"Oh! It's just your purse." He placed the purse on the ground and held his arms out, "Jump."  
  
"No."  
  
"You know you want to."  
  
"You wish."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"Why?!"  
  
"You have no other choice."  
  
"I'd rather die!"  
  
"C'mon."  
  
"NEVER!"  
  
"Let me hold you close to me." He smiled that cheesy smile of his and held his arms open wider.  
  
"Bite me! BITE ME!!!"  
  
"If you come down here I will."  
  
"You keep that up and I'll never come down!"  
  
"I'll behave."  
  
She jumped.  
  
He wasn't ready.  
  
She tackled him. To the ground. Unintentionally, brutally, but her mind couldn't deny the fact that she liked the feel of him beneath her. She liked the dominance.  
  
"I knew you wanted me." He smirked and his hands gave a playful squeeze on her rear. He received a not-so-playful slap across the face.  
  
  
  
Sango was calmed down, and they had decided on getting a double- scoop vanilla ice cream. To share--much against Sango's will. Miroku was having fun purposely dripping the ice cream on Sango's hand and kept trying to lick it off. She wouldn't lick it off because it had touched his mouth.  
  
Her hands were sticky and she was, to say the least, agitated. Miroku suddenly stopped and stared off to the left. Sango looked at him then followed his gaze to find a beautiful--woman? no, no, no, Miroku's not THAT low...--waterfall. It was a mini-waterfall, in the distance, behind a few pinetrees. It was so nature-like, and the absence on technology and extreme tranquility was enough to take both the lovers' breaths away. Miroku picked up his camera and started walking toward it, unable to take his eyes off it.  
  
Sango followed, licking some of the melting ice cream and only managing to make a mess of herself. They reached the waterfall and Miroku was racing back and forth the bank of the river to find the perfect shot. He didn't realize he had knocked Sango in the river! It wasn't a threat, the river wasn't even knee deep. He took a picture and set the camera to rest on its straps around his neck. "AHH!" He realized Sango was on her bottom in the water, "What happened? Did you want to go swimming?" He was half sarcastic, half serious.  
  
She shot him a death glare. "You pushed me in because you were so intent on photographing that stupid waterfall!" She growled and got up, ignoring Miroku's hand as he offered to help her up.  
  
The rest of the day was pretty much a bumbling disaster--as Sango had expected.  
  
  
  
About a week later Miroku called up InuYasha. "Dude! You HAVE to see this picture I took of Sango on accident on our date the other day."  
  
InuYasha's voice was dripping with shock, "Date?!"  
  
"Oh yeah, forgot you didn't hear. It was Easter. But nevermind, you have got to see this! I just got them developed this morning and I didn't realize I took it! You're gonna laugh when you see it and then say 'Oh my God!'" InuYasha wasn't all that interested but he decided to come over.  
  
InuYasha did exactly what Miroku said, he laughed, then mumbled "Oh my God!" He looked curiously to Miroku, "What exactly did you two DO?!"  
  
Miroku chuckled, "Doesn't the picture say it all?"  
  
Incase you were wondering... The picture was of Sango, with a soaked white shirt and a sticky white substance (ice cream) covering her hands and face, on her back. InuYasha was in disbelief, and he knew that it couldn't possibly be true.  
  
InuYasha, obviously, told his girlfriend, Kagome. Kagome asked Sango about it. Sango didn't know what she was talking about because she hadn't realized she had been in that picture.  
  
Miroku came to see Sango later that week. "Hey... I have a question. I'll get right to the point of why I came."  
  
Sango knew that he didn't know that she knew about the picture (confusing, huh?), so she wanted to see what he was going to say first before she said anything.  
  
"Do you like me?"  
  
Sango was taken aback, "Excuse me? Do I like you? HELL no! Why ... has someone said something." She played stupid.  
  
"Well, the picture."  
  
"Huh? The waterfall...?"  
  
"You're in it. That picture kind of gave me the feeling you liked me."  
  
Continuing playing stupid, "What's in the picture picture?"  
  
"You didn't know about the picture I took? I thought you were posing..." He pulled the picture from his pocket.  
  
Her eyes went wide, she knew it was bad, but she had no idea it looked so ... so SLUTTY!  
  
"You took this picture?!" She was enraged.  
  
"I thought you were posing!" He stated to defend himself.  
  
"You thought I would pose for something like THIS?! I'm going to kill you!! AND YOU SHOWED INUYASHA!? AND KAGOME?!"  
  
"Not Kagome."  
  
"STILL! I can't believe you did this!"  
  
"I was wondering if you were interested in posing more..?" He said, trying to lighten the mood--it made things worse.  
  
"Can I interest you in a can of whoop-ass?!" She began to beat him senseless and continued until he was a bloody, bruised and broken pile of human flesh and bones lying helplessly on the carpet.  
  
  
  
A/N: Hehe hope you liked it. I wrote this as a challenge. Please review! 


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